The Doc File

The online journal of Luke Dockery

Sacred Moments, Holy Ground

In Exodus 3 we encounter the famous story of God appearing to Moses for the purpose of recruiting him to liberate the people of Israel from slavery in Egypt. One of the most interesting aspects of the story is the way that God appears to Moses: in the form of a fiery bush that is not consumed by the flames that engulf it. As Moses draws near, God tells him to remove his sandals, because he is standing on holy ground. What made the ground holy? It was not that there was something inherently special about the bush. As a shepherd, Moses spent a lot of time leading his flock in the wilderness, and I think it’s possible that he had been by this same spot before, and had maybe even seen the same bush.

There was nothing particularly holy about it at those other times, but it was different now: it was a sacred moment…it was holy ground.

God’s presence made it that way.

We have had a rough time at our house for the last several weeks. Over the last several months, Kinsley’s seizures have gotten more difficult to control, which has led us to trying additional seizure medications and a special diet (you can read more about Kinsley’s story here and here). These efforts have not led to long-term improvement, and at the same time, Kinsley has been more withdrawn: she is often lethargic, sleeps a lot, and plays and interacts with us less. It is difficult to discern if this is caused by the many medications she is on, her seizures, some other factor, or some combination of all of the above.

Even more recently, Kinsley, who has always been a champ at taking her medicine, has become very stubborn about doing so: she will hold it in her mouth for a long time, sometimes eventually swallowing it, and at other times spitting it out. Obviously she does not get any benefit from seizure medicine that she refuses to take, so this aggravates the problem.

Last night as I was getting her ready for bed, I broke down. Kinsley again spit out one of her doses and I got incredibly frustrated and spoke to her in an exasperated tone. She just looked at me, with her beautiful, innocent, loving eyes. Immediately, my emotions changed, and I told her how truly and deeply sorry I was that she has to deal with all of the stuff and difficulties that she does, more than any little girl should ever have to.

And my nonverbal little princess, who has hardly communicated at all over the last several days, looked at me, put her hand on my chest, laid her head against me to snuggle, and reached out and held onto my arm.

What a powerful message she communicated! Even now, I can hardly write about it without becoming overwhelmed by emotion.

There we were, sitting on the floor by her bed, a place I have been countless times. But it was different now: it was a sacred moment…it was holy ground.

God’s presence made it that way: in His grace, God reached out to me and used my infirmed daughter as an instrument of healing.

P.S. We are going to Arkansas Children’s Hospital in Little Rock tomorrow to consult with a neurosurgeon about a procedure that could potentially help with Kinsley’s seizures. We would greatly appreciate your prayers as we continue to look for ways to help our little girl.

18 Comments

  1. Luke…I am crying as I am praying. Thanks for sharing.

    • Luke

      May 18, 2017 at 2:03 PM

      Jack,

      Thanks for reading and for your prayers! I have been praying for you and Pat as well.

  2. Very touching and challenging. Hope all goes well at your visit with the doctor. Thanks for opening up and sharing this.

  3. Powerful, humbling, and emotional. But in your sacred spot, like the bush, you are not consumed with anger and frustration. Know that while you are snuggled up to Kinsley, God is snuggled up to you.
    I love and appreciate you and your sweet family so much. My prayers are with you all every single day.

  4. Thank you for sharing this Luke. It is difficult to raise special needs children, and it is frustrating sometimes when they cannot convey what is hurting or bothering them. Sometimes it is difficult to see the rainbow in the storms of life. God blessed you and Caroline with little Kinsley because of the parents and Christians that you are. He knew that you would go to battle for her and do everything possible under the sun to help her.. Thank you again for sharing your family so openly.

    God Bless

    • Luke

      May 18, 2017 at 2:05 PM

      Jeff,

      I know you understand and share the struggle. You also understand that, despite the difficulties, we are so blessed with our precious children.

  5. Powerful message and I lift you and our Sunshine girl up in prayer! May her blessings always outshine her struggles. ☀️☀️☀️

  6. Donna Frederick

    May 18, 2017 at 4:59 PM

    Dearest Luke,

    Thank you for sharing this about our precious girl! We love her and all of you so much! God is indeed guiding this journey with our Kinsley! I am praying fervently!

    Much love,
    Granny D

  7. Glen and Linda Ludwick

    May 18, 2017 at 9:14 PM

    We will be praying for your loving sweet family.

  8. I am a Christian, you don’t know me…. and I just wanted to know if you had ever tried or might consider trying medical cannabis tincture? There is a lot on the web about it, and it has had some pretty good results in many cases.

    • Luke

      May 19, 2017 at 11:50 PM

      Rose,

      We have talked with our neurologist about the potential benefits of cannabidiol, and that might be an option down the line. I do know that there have been clinical trials run with significant benefits.

      Thanks for the tip!

  9. Stacy Gerstner

    May 30, 2017 at 11:31 PM

    I’m sitting here crying. Many emotions have been stirred up inside me. We never truly know what a day is like in another families shoes. I’m praying for peace, many answered prayers, and healing for your sweet girl and your your family. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and experiences. You guys are great parents!!

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